I've been meaning to make this post for a while, so I finally made it my "OneThing" for this week . . . and am just combining it with my OneThing update . . .
I grew up in a pretty traditional family with lots of blame, shame, and guilt. There were lots of good things, too! But that feeling of GUILT has lurked in my brain for too many decades. I'm not talking about guilt for something bad I did or something good I neglected to do . . . I'm just talking about feeling guilt that something unintended occurred. As I started jotting these things on my To-Do list, I already felt a little better. It's time to let these things GO, because they just don't matter. And I can't go back into the past and do things differently.
A long, long time ago, Minneapolis hosted the National Middle School Association meeting. (I can't find the year easily because the organization is now called AMLE - American Middle Level Educators?) It was probably the late 90s or early 2000s. Since I lived locally, I helped with information. This was before Google was a thing. I drew a map with 494 / 694 / 394 / 94 to "explain" to someone trying to navigate the Twin Cities. Only I was wrong! I realized it later and felt HORRIBLE. I had wanted to be helpful and instead steered them wrong. I sincerely hope that person found a good map to use instead of listening to my confusing explanation or my bad drawing. Why didn't I just say, "I'm not really sure."?
I'm really good at "beating myself up" over things like this. Good intentions . . . paving the road to hell? Another time (similar time period), I posted on Craigslist for giving away a dog kennel. A person who worked with rescue animals asked some clarifying questions. I assured them that it was available, in my driveway, etc. and they drove out to Jordan. I didn't get the change to talk to them. After they did NOT take it, I picked it up and realized that instead of a full wire kennel, it was just the caging part to separate the front of the vehicle from the back. I felt awful! They had taken a long road trip to score a kennel to help with animal rescue and I had wasted their time.
Another time, I saw a Shop Vac for sale on Craigslist for $5. I wanted one for the lake, since we used the big one at home enough to warrant a second one. I brought my five dollars and chatted with the young woman selling it. It was a smaller shop vac, but in excellent shape. At that point in time, I didn't really know how much they cost brand new. She said her husband / boyfriend was deployed and she was getting rid of things sitting around. As I drove away thinking what a great deal I got, it dawned on me that he might not know she sold his shop vac for $5. Should I go back and return it? What was the right thing to do? Inertia won and I kept it. But I do pray for both of them whenever I use it up at the lake and hope they are well.
One of the things that I love about being a follower of Jesus is the power of Scripture in my life. The verse that comes to mind is Romans 8:1. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death." God's grace, mercy, and love have transformed my life! I don't ever want to go back to the guilt-tripping, martyrdom, blame and shame that I grew up with.
Since I love photos, I grabbed this screen shot of those dreaded roads. I got it off Reddit, but it's basically just a map of the Twin Cities roads.