Dear Paige,
You and Johnny sure are _Hot Tamales_! A little _Whatchamacallit_, 9 months, and the Guists will soon become the _3 Musketeers_. Get ready, though, for some _Shock Tarts_. You may _Skor_ an "easy baby," or a real _Crybaby_, or even a set of _Twix_! (We mean "twins" - ulp!) The lack of sleep may make you into _Airheads_, or it may make you feel like you took some _Numb Drops_. Rest assured, to the rest of us, you'll just seem like new parent _Nerds_. That's okay, you _Crazy Dips_. Those _Snickers_ you hear are just our way of saying that Momma Paige is worth _100 Grand_ and Johnny _Pop Rocks_. We hope you have _Mounds_ of fun raising you new little (non-_Heath_-en) child.
Love,
Jeanne and Louie
This is really old! The child in question will be a middle schooler soon, and I don't think some of these candies exist any more! One less piece of paper in that box I'm working on, though . . . progress!
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